Wow....it's seems like it's been forever! Where do I start? Well, to begin with...we are moving...I don't know where yet, but I can't afford the house we're in now. It sucks but that's how it is...Sucks to be me... My hours at the towing comp were cut to M-W at $50.00 per day. That's not a lot! There is no way that I can afford to pay $900.00 a month for a house! My kids are going to be really disappointed!
Speaking of disappointed....I had to break my children's hearts yesterday. My girls want to do cheerleading and my son wants to do football so bad they can taste it!!! BUT, it's going to cost $325.00 each for the girls to do it and it's not fair to let my son do football if the girls can't cheer. It's a catch 22. No matter what I do, it's unfair to someone.
Man's b-day party was Saturday....my baby is 7!... He didn't have anyone from school show up and he didn't feel good. It was an ok party but half the people left before he did presents. Mine and IT's anniversary was yesterday (March 2). We've been married for 10 freaking years!! We went to church yesterday morning, I went to the cheerleading meeting at 2:00, and then we went to the dollar theatre to see 'I Am Legend'. It wasn't Will Smith's greatest movie. It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't what I expected and the ending sucked!
Oh, yeah....I have had problems with my monthly since I had Munchkin. I had a tubal (they didn't cut my tubes, they just double clipped each side...that's the equivalent to putting a roach clip on a straw). I have prego symptoms every month...well, most months.. This month, it's really bad. I've been nauseaus (I know I spelled that wrong) a lot! I've never actually thrown up before, but I did last night...choc chip cookies will never be the same!!! I took 2 tests bc I wanted to make sure that I wasn't subconciously thinking about it (it was too early for both of them and one of them prob wouldn't work anywy bc it was a cheap {$1.00} test.....they were both negative.) The best I can tell, I should start sometime this week...I think. I was on my period when I went to the dr on Feb 8...I think. I think that I was at the end of my period which means that, either way, I started bt Feb 1 and Feb 7. That means that I should start sometime bt now and Mar 6 (Thurs). I don't think that I'm prego, I just think that I have baby on the brain bc it seems like everyone I know is prego....my boss/friend (remember that hers is a miracle baby bc she was told that she could never have any more bc of endometriosis and that she needed a historectomy), my friend, my friends sister-in-law, a friend or ours' sister, and a few others...you get the point.
Ok, here's the story...I never wanted to get a tubal in the first place, but IT convinced me that I should (along with everyone else..mainly family) and I did have a lot of problems with my pregnancies and I didn't want to suffer through another miscarriage. I always secretly hoped that it would come undone. I always felt that I was meant to have 4 children. Sounds crazy...I know. All I've ever wanted to be is a mother.... I always envisioned getting through school and having a career and untying my tubes....however...it didn't happen that way. IT got sorry and we got really broke. Plus, I had my kidney removed, so there's no way. Now...who knows. If God decides he wants me to have another baby, I guess I'll find out.
Just considering the possibility has given me a lot to think about. What if I was...how would I feel? I guess it would be mixed feelings. The situation would suck! IT is still gonna be sorry and we are still gonna be broke. But, I can't say that I wouldn't be happy at the idea of another baby! Who wouldn't be happy when they are given a miracle of a child? I don't understand it. I just leave it in God's hands. What's meant to be will be.
On another note...I kind of went off track with my WW this weekend....a lot! I planned on getting back on track again today, but I was so nauseaus (again, I know that it's probably spelled wrong) this morning that I was chomping down on saltines. I was 194lbs this morning. Still 6.4lbs less than when I started!
I am seriously beginning to wonder bc I've never had symptoms this bad....Only God knows. I will be glad when I know either way......either by starting or by finding out otherwise. I am prob just thinking about it subconciously and psyching myself out!!
Oh, btw, my eyes are still bothering me...still sensitive to light and burning a little...just enough to annoy me! I am so tired all the time..maybe I'm anemic. I am so tired!!!
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