We got up and went to sunrise service....and we were not late! Then, we had breadfast at church...I ate a biscuit, sausage gravy, bacon, and eggs.....I was so bad! Then, we went home and I got the kids ready for church and myself ready for work. IT took me to work and I ended up clocking in at 10:45....thinking I would make a ton of money...We ended up being dead. From open to close....I only made $70.50! That was awful...it wasn't even as busy as a regular Sunday. On top of that, I had a fight with IT when he picked me up. He was pissed that I worked on Easter and wasn't able to spend time with the kids...he also said that I needed to make a decision btwn my kids and my job...I didn't need to work on Sundays anymore....I explained that I'm not working bc I want to...I'm working bc I have to bc he won't. I can't afford to take Sundays off....I really wish that I could...I miss my kids. The bad thing is that he was saying all of this in front of them....I tried to get him to discuss it with me away from the kids...he wouldn't. I told him that he was being emotionally neglectful of the kids bc he was making the kids think that their momma doesn't want to spend time with them....that's not true. I love my kids and would do anything to be able to be with them all the time....but, I can't do that when I am working to support 5 people...the only thing IT does is ride around and haul junk with his momma or daddy...he gets his own gas and cig money and then still asks me for money and if I don't give it to him...he will make my life HELL......... I am going to try to get a job with the schools...as a substitute or a lunch room lady...anything to get me on the payroll bc then I won't have to worry about where we live...I will be more free to leave his sorry ass.
AJ
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
Almost 13.5 lbs!!!!
I am so excited! I weighed myself Tues morning and I have lost 13.4lbs! Now, I need to tone up bc it is looking a little (make that a lot) flabby! I'm starting to look good with clothes on....but when the clothes come off.....not so much.
Man went back to school yesterday....I'm so glad....he was so restless and bored from being stuck at work with me with nothing to do. I had to work yesterday and today....half a day...and I am getting ready to leave. I have to go meet a friend from church to give her some candy to go inside Easter eggs for us to hunt tomorrow and then I have to hightail it to Munchkin's school bc they are having a party. They are having an egg hunt right now and I am missing it but I will be at her party. I hate that I am barely going to see them on Easter. We are getting up and going to the sunrise service and we always have breakfast together (a few of the ladies cook for the entire church family)....then we are coming back home...he's dropping me off at work at 10:00 and taking the kids back to regular service...I'm supposed to work 12-7, but they've already asked me to work 10-7.....I will be exhausted........the only upside of it is that I will probably make $100.00-$150.00......at least that's what they keep telling me.
Later,
AJ
Man went back to school yesterday....I'm so glad....he was so restless and bored from being stuck at work with me with nothing to do. I had to work yesterday and today....half a day...and I am getting ready to leave. I have to go meet a friend from church to give her some candy to go inside Easter eggs for us to hunt tomorrow and then I have to hightail it to Munchkin's school bc they are having a party. They are having an egg hunt right now and I am missing it but I will be at her party. I hate that I am barely going to see them on Easter. We are getting up and going to the sunrise service and we always have breakfast together (a few of the ladies cook for the entire church family)....then we are coming back home...he's dropping me off at work at 10:00 and taking the kids back to regular service...I'm supposed to work 12-7, but they've already asked me to work 10-7.....I will be exhausted........the only upside of it is that I will probably make $100.00-$150.00......at least that's what they keep telling me.
Later,
AJ
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Just another quickie...
I just wanted to jump on a leave an update... I am almost positive that Man has chicken pox....they have all had the vaccine, but...according to the school nurse....it's going around. They have had 15-16 cases (that was before Man) in the past couple of weeks. He is going back to school tomorrow...his fever is gone and none of the bumps are open. Yeah!!! I was out of work yesterday bc his stomach was tore up...I felt so bad for him...they said I could work Thur and Fri morning to make up my time so that my check wouldn't be short. We will see if that actually happens.
I also found out today that my boss is trying to sell the company. That means that I will be down to my buffet job...that would suck! He asked his brother about taking over and buying it from him....if he does it, he said he wanted to keep me full time and double my salary and take taxes out....we will see how it goes.
I'll keep you posted.
AJ
I also found out today that my boss is trying to sell the company. That means that I will be down to my buffet job...that would suck! He asked his brother about taking over and buying it from him....if he does it, he said he wanted to keep me full time and double my salary and take taxes out....we will see how it goes.
I'll keep you posted.
AJ
Monday, March 17, 2008
Wow....
I don't even know where to start...
I guess, first of all, on Sunday morn I weighed myself...189.4lbs!! yeah! That's a 12lb weight loss! I rock!! We went to the Outback last night..my grandmother paid for it bc it was my cousin's b-day...and all I ate was a small piece of the bread (it's so good..I could make a meal out of it), a salad (with my fat free dressing from home), and a baked potatoe (I was bad bc it was loaded)....my steak was really undercooked so I didn't eat it.
We think Man may have chicken pox. He had the vaccine......but, it sure looks like it. We'll see....he goes to the dr tonight at 6:15. IT was supposed to go but I don't told him that he couldn't bc I didn't have the money to pay for it.
We got into a huge fight yesterday.....I told him that he had a pretty good life that most would love...no job...no responsibilities...no bills...all he had to do was baby-sit his own kids while I worked my tail off.............he was pissed! He said he didn't like hearing it all the time...I told him that I didn't like seeing it all the time
I am ticked about Easter...I have to work 12-7 on Easter...that sucks! I asked off for it...but...I didn't get it.
I just found out that my future sister-in-law is prego...she says. I will let you know when it is confirmed. She went out this past weekend to a party (prob got drunk) knowing that she was prego....I'm really worried about the baby if she is prego. They asked us to be godparents...of course we said yes.....I'm just worried. She gave up custody of her little boy (he's 2) to his daddy bc she said that she was on drugs and moving from place to place at the time and it was better for him....I just don't think that she is ready for the responsibility of a baby....we shall see.
Later...AJ
I guess, first of all, on Sunday morn I weighed myself...189.4lbs!! yeah! That's a 12lb weight loss! I rock!! We went to the Outback last night..my grandmother paid for it bc it was my cousin's b-day...and all I ate was a small piece of the bread (it's so good..I could make a meal out of it), a salad (with my fat free dressing from home), and a baked potatoe (I was bad bc it was loaded)....my steak was really undercooked so I didn't eat it.
We think Man may have chicken pox. He had the vaccine......but, it sure looks like it. We'll see....he goes to the dr tonight at 6:15. IT was supposed to go but I don't told him that he couldn't bc I didn't have the money to pay for it.
We got into a huge fight yesterday.....I told him that he had a pretty good life that most would love...no job...no responsibilities...no bills...all he had to do was baby-sit his own kids while I worked my tail off.............he was pissed! He said he didn't like hearing it all the time...I told him that I didn't like seeing it all the time
I am ticked about Easter...I have to work 12-7 on Easter...that sucks! I asked off for it...but...I didn't get it.
I just found out that my future sister-in-law is prego...she says. I will let you know when it is confirmed. She went out this past weekend to a party (prob got drunk) knowing that she was prego....I'm really worried about the baby if she is prego. They asked us to be godparents...of course we said yes.....I'm just worried. She gave up custody of her little boy (he's 2) to his daddy bc she said that she was on drugs and moving from place to place at the time and it was better for him....I just don't think that she is ready for the responsibility of a baby....we shall see.
Later...AJ
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Playing Catch-up............again
Ok......I've been neglecting you.....Sorry.
First, let me tell you about some friends of ours. Before we moved in our house, we lived in apts. They were our neighbors. We lived there for a year and have been in our house for a little over a year. We have been close friends ever since. They have a teenager (she's 17) and a little girl that is 7 mths older than Munchkin. She is also tiny like Munchkin. We will call her Angel for now. Angel fell at school (they all go to the same elem sch) on Thurs and broke her arm above the elbow. Her momma beat the ambulance to the school. She rode in the ambulance with Angel to the local hospital and then they called an ambulance to take her to Scottish Rite in Atlanta. It swelled and ended up cutting off the circulation to her arm and making her pulse weak. She had to have surgery on Thur night and came home on Fri afternoon. She is doing much better now. She has to go on Fri to get another cast put on bc they had to put this one on loose bc of the pins in her arm and the swelling. It broke my heart bc she is like mine. Our kids act more like siblings than friends. It ticks me off that her Momma isn't more "involved" (I guess is the word.) She doesn't even want to go to the school and find out exactly what happened. Not that I think that the school is at fault bc accidents happen, but you never know. My kids have been in the same school since Princess was in 1st grade (she's in the 3rd now) and the only problems I've had from that school are that the nurse is an idiot and Princess' teacher last year was an idiot! (Princess actually corrected her grammar and was right most of the time!) Their principal was my principal when I was in middle school.
The most exciting thing that happened is that we went to the Nascar race in Atlanta on Sun! It was pretty cool. If IT hadn't have drank himself stupid (along with his uncle) it would have been an awsome day. I missed my kids terribly.....but, it was fun. Hopefully, I will have the money to take the kids to the next race that I go to....I didn't buy these tickets....IT's uncle bought them for our anniversary.
I weighed myself on Sun morning and I was back down to 191.4lb........that's exactly a 10lb weight loss!! I did eat a little more than I would have normally at the race and I did eat a little bit too much last night.....but I am determined to do better and lose weight.....I'm sick of being fat!!! But...I don't really think I will be able to lose much until I figure out what's wrong with me....I probably need to go to the dr. I told you about last week and going to the dr and her thinking I was preg....well...it was neg and I took another one yesterday...just to make sure. It was neg also. I have not started yet...I should have started sometime last week...prob Tues, Wed, or Thur. Not to be gross....but I'm gonna describe what's been going on...it's kind of gross but I guess it doesn't matter since no one reads my blog anyway...this way I will remember. I started showing signs of starting on Fri...just a little pink on the paper. It's been like that off and on since then...not constant...just off and on. A little bit ago, I went and checked and it was brown...like it is when you're coming off of it. I don't know what to think. I am broke out, still nauseous, very tender breasts, fatigued, I have a headache....you get the point....oh...and I feel huge.....I'm talking hippo huge! I dont' know what's wrong with me. I'm beginning to really think that my body is messed up big time! I almost wish I was prego....at least then I would have a reason to feel like this and I would know that it wouldn't last forever.
Well, Princess is at work with me today bc she woke up with a migraine. She's been asleep in the back of the van (don't freak out...I work in the woods on private land and I park beside the door....there is no one here!)and she just woke up. I have to go fix her lunch.
AJ
First, let me tell you about some friends of ours. Before we moved in our house, we lived in apts. They were our neighbors. We lived there for a year and have been in our house for a little over a year. We have been close friends ever since. They have a teenager (she's 17) and a little girl that is 7 mths older than Munchkin. She is also tiny like Munchkin. We will call her Angel for now. Angel fell at school (they all go to the same elem sch) on Thurs and broke her arm above the elbow. Her momma beat the ambulance to the school. She rode in the ambulance with Angel to the local hospital and then they called an ambulance to take her to Scottish Rite in Atlanta. It swelled and ended up cutting off the circulation to her arm and making her pulse weak. She had to have surgery on Thur night and came home on Fri afternoon. She is doing much better now. She has to go on Fri to get another cast put on bc they had to put this one on loose bc of the pins in her arm and the swelling. It broke my heart bc she is like mine. Our kids act more like siblings than friends. It ticks me off that her Momma isn't more "involved" (I guess is the word.) She doesn't even want to go to the school and find out exactly what happened. Not that I think that the school is at fault bc accidents happen, but you never know. My kids have been in the same school since Princess was in 1st grade (she's in the 3rd now) and the only problems I've had from that school are that the nurse is an idiot and Princess' teacher last year was an idiot! (Princess actually corrected her grammar and was right most of the time!) Their principal was my principal when I was in middle school.
The most exciting thing that happened is that we went to the Nascar race in Atlanta on Sun! It was pretty cool. If IT hadn't have drank himself stupid (along with his uncle) it would have been an awsome day. I missed my kids terribly.....but, it was fun. Hopefully, I will have the money to take the kids to the next race that I go to....I didn't buy these tickets....IT's uncle bought them for our anniversary.
I weighed myself on Sun morning and I was back down to 191.4lb........that's exactly a 10lb weight loss!! I did eat a little more than I would have normally at the race and I did eat a little bit too much last night.....but I am determined to do better and lose weight.....I'm sick of being fat!!! But...I don't really think I will be able to lose much until I figure out what's wrong with me....I probably need to go to the dr. I told you about last week and going to the dr and her thinking I was preg....well...it was neg and I took another one yesterday...just to make sure. It was neg also. I have not started yet...I should have started sometime last week...prob Tues, Wed, or Thur. Not to be gross....but I'm gonna describe what's been going on...it's kind of gross but I guess it doesn't matter since no one reads my blog anyway...this way I will remember. I started showing signs of starting on Fri...just a little pink on the paper. It's been like that off and on since then...not constant...just off and on. A little bit ago, I went and checked and it was brown...like it is when you're coming off of it. I don't know what to think. I am broke out, still nauseous, very tender breasts, fatigued, I have a headache....you get the point....oh...and I feel huge.....I'm talking hippo huge! I dont' know what's wrong with me. I'm beginning to really think that my body is messed up big time! I almost wish I was prego....at least then I would have a reason to feel like this and I would know that it wouldn't last forever.
Well, Princess is at work with me today bc she woke up with a migraine. She's been asleep in the back of the van (don't freak out...I work in the woods on private land and I park beside the door....there is no one here!)and she just woke up. I have to go fix her lunch.
AJ
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Mixed Feelings...
First of all, I want to tell you about one of my oldest and dearest friends....we will call her MJ (like in Spider Man). We have been friends since 8th grade. Our last names started with the same letter and everything was alphabetized so we sat beside each other in all of our classes. She is how I met IT....I don't blame her...she didn't know..LOL. Seriously, we aren't as close as I'd like. I'm not the one she considers her "best" friend. Our lives are not as intertwined as I would like. IT is a lot of the reason for this. She doesn't like to be around him. Early in our marriage, I wasn't even allowed to go to a pay phone and make a phone call without him around...it was pretty bad. It's not like that now bc I don't allow it to be but.........the damage is done. I love her like a sister and I love her little boy. I wish that I could have been there for her more in the past....the only thing I can do is try to be here for her now and in the future.
Next....I'm not prego! Let me tell you about my evening yesterday. I took Munchkin and Man to the dr. Munchkin wouldn't do it bc there was a new nurse there and I was too sick to argue with her. Man checked out fine. IT told the dr about me being nauseaus (I really need to look up the spelling.) She made me do a test....she didn't even charge me for it. She said that earlier that morning, she had a patient with a positive test that had her tubal in 2001. Well, the test was neg but it showed that I have a severe UTI. She was amazed that I'm not in pain. Instead of me feeling pain, I am nauseous, throwing up, fatigued (to the point that I am almost falling asleep at work), weak....you get the point...prego symptoms. Weird....she put me on antibiotics and told me to drink water. We will see if it goes away. There is no telling how long I've had it since I don't feel any pain. Now, I'm worried about the fact that I only have 1 kidney and I've got a sever UTI. That's what happened before I had surgery to remove my kidney....I had constant UTIs and kidney infections.................OK.........now the mixed feelings... I am sad that I'm not prego bc I always wanted another baby...I always envisioned myself with 4 children.....yes, I know that I am certifiably insane........ I can't help but feel disappointed bc I know that it's done..no more babies.. I also feel relief. I know that now would be the worst time financially and in other ways to even think of having a baby. I wouldn't pick this situation to bring a baby into. My marriage is pretty much over, we are broke, I work all the time....you get the point. I guess in a weird way, deep down, maybe I wanted it to be positive bc then I would have the 4th baby that I've always wanted but it wouldn't be my fault...I wouldn't have to listen to everyone ask me "what were you thinking?"....sometimes I think with my heart, not with my head...but, that's ok bc I know that I do it and I'm working on it. Think I'm nuts yet??
Next...I am going to have to write a rubber check for my rent this month. I just don't have the money. Since my hours were cut (with no notice), which means that my pay went down, I just don't have enough money. We are looking for a place to move to now. I don't want to, but I can't stay there. I am seriously considering my options. I would even live in a big 2 bedroom right now. It's not like we have a lot of options. I'll let you know what happens.
Well, I'm gonna go bc I am exhausted and I'm at work. I want to lay my head down on my desk, but I'm scared that I'll fall asleep.
Later,
AJ
Next....I'm not prego! Let me tell you about my evening yesterday. I took Munchkin and Man to the dr. Munchkin wouldn't do it bc there was a new nurse there and I was too sick to argue with her. Man checked out fine. IT told the dr about me being nauseaus (I really need to look up the spelling.) She made me do a test....she didn't even charge me for it. She said that earlier that morning, she had a patient with a positive test that had her tubal in 2001. Well, the test was neg but it showed that I have a severe UTI. She was amazed that I'm not in pain. Instead of me feeling pain, I am nauseous, throwing up, fatigued (to the point that I am almost falling asleep at work), weak....you get the point...prego symptoms. Weird....she put me on antibiotics and told me to drink water. We will see if it goes away. There is no telling how long I've had it since I don't feel any pain. Now, I'm worried about the fact that I only have 1 kidney and I've got a sever UTI. That's what happened before I had surgery to remove my kidney....I had constant UTIs and kidney infections.................OK.........now the mixed feelings... I am sad that I'm not prego bc I always wanted another baby...I always envisioned myself with 4 children.....yes, I know that I am certifiably insane........ I can't help but feel disappointed bc I know that it's done..no more babies.. I also feel relief. I know that now would be the worst time financially and in other ways to even think of having a baby. I wouldn't pick this situation to bring a baby into. My marriage is pretty much over, we are broke, I work all the time....you get the point. I guess in a weird way, deep down, maybe I wanted it to be positive bc then I would have the 4th baby that I've always wanted but it wouldn't be my fault...I wouldn't have to listen to everyone ask me "what were you thinking?"....sometimes I think with my heart, not with my head...but, that's ok bc I know that I do it and I'm working on it. Think I'm nuts yet??
Next...I am going to have to write a rubber check for my rent this month. I just don't have the money. Since my hours were cut (with no notice), which means that my pay went down, I just don't have enough money. We are looking for a place to move to now. I don't want to, but I can't stay there. I am seriously considering my options. I would even live in a big 2 bedroom right now. It's not like we have a lot of options. I'll let you know what happens.
Well, I'm gonna go bc I am exhausted and I'm at work. I want to lay my head down on my desk, but I'm scared that I'll fall asleep.
Later,
AJ
Monday, March 3, 2008
Playing Catch-up.....
Wow....it's seems like it's been forever! Where do I start? Well, to begin with...we are moving...I don't know where yet, but I can't afford the house we're in now. It sucks but that's how it is...Sucks to be me... My hours at the towing comp were cut to M-W at $50.00 per day. That's not a lot! There is no way that I can afford to pay $900.00 a month for a house! My kids are going to be really disappointed!
Speaking of disappointed....I had to break my children's hearts yesterday. My girls want to do cheerleading and my son wants to do football so bad they can taste it!!! BUT, it's going to cost $325.00 each for the girls to do it and it's not fair to let my son do football if the girls can't cheer. It's a catch 22. No matter what I do, it's unfair to someone.
Man's b-day party was Saturday....my baby is 7!... He didn't have anyone from school show up and he didn't feel good. It was an ok party but half the people left before he did presents. Mine and IT's anniversary was yesterday (March 2). We've been married for 10 freaking years!! We went to church yesterday morning, I went to the cheerleading meeting at 2:00, and then we went to the dollar theatre to see 'I Am Legend'. It wasn't Will Smith's greatest movie. It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't what I expected and the ending sucked!
Oh, yeah....I have had problems with my monthly since I had Munchkin. I had a tubal (they didn't cut my tubes, they just double clipped each side...that's the equivalent to putting a roach clip on a straw). I have prego symptoms every month...well, most months.. This month, it's really bad. I've been nauseaus (I know I spelled that wrong) a lot! I've never actually thrown up before, but I did last night...choc chip cookies will never be the same!!! I took 2 tests bc I wanted to make sure that I wasn't subconciously thinking about it (it was too early for both of them and one of them prob wouldn't work anywy bc it was a cheap {$1.00} test.....they were both negative.) The best I can tell, I should start sometime this week...I think. I was on my period when I went to the dr on Feb 8...I think. I think that I was at the end of my period which means that, either way, I started bt Feb 1 and Feb 7. That means that I should start sometime bt now and Mar 6 (Thurs). I don't think that I'm prego, I just think that I have baby on the brain bc it seems like everyone I know is prego....my boss/friend (remember that hers is a miracle baby bc she was told that she could never have any more bc of endometriosis and that she needed a historectomy), my friend, my friends sister-in-law, a friend or ours' sister, and a few others...you get the point.
Ok, here's the story...I never wanted to get a tubal in the first place, but IT convinced me that I should (along with everyone else..mainly family) and I did have a lot of problems with my pregnancies and I didn't want to suffer through another miscarriage. I always secretly hoped that it would come undone. I always felt that I was meant to have 4 children. Sounds crazy...I know. All I've ever wanted to be is a mother.... I always envisioned getting through school and having a career and untying my tubes....however...it didn't happen that way. IT got sorry and we got really broke. Plus, I had my kidney removed, so there's no way. Now...who knows. If God decides he wants me to have another baby, I guess I'll find out.
Just considering the possibility has given me a lot to think about. What if I was...how would I feel? I guess it would be mixed feelings. The situation would suck! IT is still gonna be sorry and we are still gonna be broke. But, I can't say that I wouldn't be happy at the idea of another baby! Who wouldn't be happy when they are given a miracle of a child? I don't understand it. I just leave it in God's hands. What's meant to be will be.
On another note...I kind of went off track with my WW this weekend....a lot! I planned on getting back on track again today, but I was so nauseaus (again, I know that it's probably spelled wrong) this morning that I was chomping down on saltines. I was 194lbs this morning. Still 6.4lbs less than when I started!
I am seriously beginning to wonder bc I've never had symptoms this bad....Only God knows. I will be glad when I know either way......either by starting or by finding out otherwise. I am prob just thinking about it subconciously and psyching myself out!!
Oh, btw, my eyes are still bothering me...still sensitive to light and burning a little...just enough to annoy me! I am so tired all the time..maybe I'm anemic. I am so tired!!!
Speaking of disappointed....I had to break my children's hearts yesterday. My girls want to do cheerleading and my son wants to do football so bad they can taste it!!! BUT, it's going to cost $325.00 each for the girls to do it and it's not fair to let my son do football if the girls can't cheer. It's a catch 22. No matter what I do, it's unfair to someone.
Man's b-day party was Saturday....my baby is 7!... He didn't have anyone from school show up and he didn't feel good. It was an ok party but half the people left before he did presents. Mine and IT's anniversary was yesterday (March 2). We've been married for 10 freaking years!! We went to church yesterday morning, I went to the cheerleading meeting at 2:00, and then we went to the dollar theatre to see 'I Am Legend'. It wasn't Will Smith's greatest movie. It wasn't horrible, it just wasn't what I expected and the ending sucked!
Oh, yeah....I have had problems with my monthly since I had Munchkin. I had a tubal (they didn't cut my tubes, they just double clipped each side...that's the equivalent to putting a roach clip on a straw). I have prego symptoms every month...well, most months.. This month, it's really bad. I've been nauseaus (I know I spelled that wrong) a lot! I've never actually thrown up before, but I did last night...choc chip cookies will never be the same!!! I took 2 tests bc I wanted to make sure that I wasn't subconciously thinking about it (it was too early for both of them and one of them prob wouldn't work anywy bc it was a cheap {$1.00} test.....they were both negative.) The best I can tell, I should start sometime this week...I think. I was on my period when I went to the dr on Feb 8...I think. I think that I was at the end of my period which means that, either way, I started bt Feb 1 and Feb 7. That means that I should start sometime bt now and Mar 6 (Thurs). I don't think that I'm prego, I just think that I have baby on the brain bc it seems like everyone I know is prego....my boss/friend (remember that hers is a miracle baby bc she was told that she could never have any more bc of endometriosis and that she needed a historectomy), my friend, my friends sister-in-law, a friend or ours' sister, and a few others...you get the point.
Ok, here's the story...I never wanted to get a tubal in the first place, but IT convinced me that I should (along with everyone else..mainly family) and I did have a lot of problems with my pregnancies and I didn't want to suffer through another miscarriage. I always secretly hoped that it would come undone. I always felt that I was meant to have 4 children. Sounds crazy...I know. All I've ever wanted to be is a mother.... I always envisioned getting through school and having a career and untying my tubes....however...it didn't happen that way. IT got sorry and we got really broke. Plus, I had my kidney removed, so there's no way. Now...who knows. If God decides he wants me to have another baby, I guess I'll find out.
Just considering the possibility has given me a lot to think about. What if I was...how would I feel? I guess it would be mixed feelings. The situation would suck! IT is still gonna be sorry and we are still gonna be broke. But, I can't say that I wouldn't be happy at the idea of another baby! Who wouldn't be happy when they are given a miracle of a child? I don't understand it. I just leave it in God's hands. What's meant to be will be.
On another note...I kind of went off track with my WW this weekend....a lot! I planned on getting back on track again today, but I was so nauseaus (again, I know that it's probably spelled wrong) this morning that I was chomping down on saltines. I was 194lbs this morning. Still 6.4lbs less than when I started!
I am seriously beginning to wonder bc I've never had symptoms this bad....Only God knows. I will be glad when I know either way......either by starting or by finding out otherwise. I am prob just thinking about it subconciously and psyching myself out!!
Oh, btw, my eyes are still bothering me...still sensitive to light and burning a little...just enough to annoy me! I am so tired all the time..maybe I'm anemic. I am so tired!!!
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