Yep...We have confirmation...IT is a jerk!!

Last night when I got home from work at almost 10:00, I was exhausted. I was sleepy and achy. My whole body hurt. It was Munchkin's birthday (I can't believe that my baby is 5!!!!) and I only got to see her for a little bit when IT brought her to eat at the buffet with me. I couldn't even sit down with her bc I was working. I missed her so much! I miss all of my kids soooo much! I never get to see them bc I am always working! Back to the point....I put my Smart One in the microwave and then took it to bed. Munchkin got to stay up late and sleep witm me since it was her b-day. The bed was covered in clothes and laundry baskets (full of clothes) and I just pushed them over, got in the bed, and pulled the covers over us. I didn't have the strength to move them. IT came in there and said something about me not cleaning off the entire bed. I said I would in a minute and then I fell asleep. He came in there and woke me up and I had to help him clean off the bed and make it. He insinuated that I was lazy bc I didn't clean off the whole bed. I told him I worked 24-7 and was exhausted and hurting....what was his excuse....did he sit too long? He got pissed.

My boss at the buffet offered me full time there if I quit the wrecker service bc she said she could see that it was killing me to work 2 jobs.....IT doesn't care. He's with his daddy hauling junk today. I will give him credit that he went to eat breakfast with Man this morning. He goes to eat with Princess tomorrow morning. At least he's doing that. Last night, he said he did something he wasn't proud of. He said that he "accidentally" pulled Princess' hair last night. I don't totally believe it was an accident, but I wasn't there...I can't prove it. If I seriously believed that it wasn't an accident or if I had proof...I would leave him on the spot no matter what!...............but, I don't know. I feel sooo bad. I'm not there for my kids the way I want to be or the way that they deserve for me to be...and I can't do anything about it. I am missing out on so much. I am missing out on seeing my kids grow up. Munchkin is going on her 2nd field trip this morning and I am missing it just like I did the first one. I am missing everything. I am at my breaking point. I cry at commercials. I cry in the shower.....I cry all the time. I am crying as I write this sitting in the office at work. I am so stressed. I'm not sure how much more I can take.

And my house....that's another thing. My house is destroyed. IT won't do anything. His attitude is that when I do something to help him in the house, he will do something...he shouldn't have to do it all by himself. I'm not even there long enough to mess up. We have another birthday party this weekend and he won't even help clean for the party. He spent Mon and Tues with his Momma and Daddy and he is conveniently gone today...Wednesday is his junk day. I am leaving today at lunch bc Princess has an appt with an eye dr at 1:45. I will try to clean some today but I don't know how much I will be able to get done with my back hurting....it's radiating into my shoulder, up to my neck, and down into my back. It is seriously painful. I won't be off again until the day of the party.

Later,
AJ