I'm back!

Ok, here's the deal. I'm finally done with my classes. I got an A in both classes!!! YEAH!!! My GPA is now 1.7..........not good, but way better than what it was. Just to let you know, my GPA wasn't so low bc I'm an idiot, I had to take an F in all of my classes for 2 semesters bc I couldn't complete them and I couldn't withdraw bc I couldn't pay back Financial Aid....the end result means that my GPA is shot! I basically have to make an A in every class that I take from now on...not very probable.....I still have Chemistry and Biology to go...

I went back to work at the wrecker company. I now have even more responsibility than before..................for the same pay. I do get a $50.00 loan payment (my idiot husband got a settlement at the beginning of the year and he blew the whole damn thing.........we had about $6,000.00 left and, even though I told him no, he loaned my boss, who was his best friend and employer at the time, $4,000.00 and he also owes us about $1,000.00 on back pay checks that bounced) added to my pay check every week, but the actual pay is still the same. I'm an idiot, what can I say? But, seriously, I love my job. I like running the office. I like the people that I work with (most of the time). I just wish that is was more money. I am still working 2-3 days/nights at the Buffet. That means that I work a total of an average of 56 hours per week. What's so sad is that my actual pay is only about $400.00 per week plus my $50.00 loan payment. That only averages out to about $7.14 bring home an hour. That bites! According to salary.com, an office manager in my little hick town an office manager should be making $47,730.50/year and bringing home $1,276.95 bi-weekly. IT blows money as fast as I can make it.

By the way, IT is a jackass!!! He is whining bc he wants to go hunting bc tomorrow is the last day. I had to give him $40.00 for gas just in case he is able to go, BUT, I need contacts desperately (I have the last left one in that I have and it is ripped) and I don't have the money to buy contacts.

I was really sick over Christmas. I'm still sick....I have a nasty cough that won't go away. When I lay down, it feels like I have an elephant sitting on my chest. When I was so sick that I couldn't get out of bed (and he still felt the need to get laid-----JACKASS---), I kept telling him we had no money...he didn't listen. He says that I told him it was ok to only get $10.00 of gas or only 1 pack of cigarettes....I don't remember it...I was freaking sick!! The point is that we are now negative about $200.00 in our checking account. Plus last week was an extremely short week.....closed on Christmas (no I don't get paid for the holidays) at both jobs, missing 2 days after Christmas bc of being sick, and had previously requested this past weekend off from my buffet job. This week will be another short week bc of the office being closed for the 1st. If we can make it a few more weeks, maybe I can get straightened out with the bills after I get a few full weeks in. Only God knows. All I can do is leave it up to God and he will work everything out.

Ok, enough whining...I need to actually get some work done. Talk to you later.

AJ:)

I REALLY NEED to vent!!!

OMG! IT is such an ass!!! I was taking my final exam for one of my classes and he just goes to the bed and lays down, presumeably to watch tv! He leaves the kids up with me for me to deal with and try to get them to get dressed so that when I am done with my final, and after I get dressed, we can go to the Christmas festival at Munchkin's school. When I was done, he came in here and I said something about him making me deal with the kids during my exam and he said I should have done it last night...it's not his problem!....Poor baby...he has a headache and he wants to lay in bed all day bc it's Saturday...BUT, if you don't work, isn't every day Saturday?

Everyday, he gets worse! I can't wait until I am rid of IT! I would be so much happier by myself! If I'm gonna do everything by myself anyway, I may as well do it without all the bitching and moaning....and less mess to clean up...Oh well, at least IT's a free baby sitter right now.......I am sooooooo stressed and IT doesn't even care!!! One day........

AJ

A Quickie

Ok, I only have a few. I have no privacy! Anyways, just wanted to post really quick....

Let's see....what do I have to say????? Well, IT still isn't looking for a job...surprising.... He has decided that all he needs to do is haul junk. Well, that's all gravy if it's for extra money...not a sole source of income for someone. He doesn't get that. I understand that it may be hard to find work with a back injury and a messed up ankle....but, not impossible. He could at least try. He doesn't. Munchkin's teacher said told him that the kids were asked to tell them what Mommy and Daddy did for a living......she said Mommy works and Daddy is lazy! That is pathetic! That in itself would make me want to work.

Ok, more later. I have a 450 word paper due tonight by midnight and I haven't even started the research yet. It's on North Carolina Right To Life....BTW, I have to work from 4-C (around 9:30). I'm so screwed!!

Later,
AJ:)

Just wanted to add.......

How do yall feel about Alex O'Loughlin? He plays Mick St. John on Moonlight. YUMMY!!! He ranks right up there with Paul Walker and Vin Diesel in my book! Talk about needing a COLD shower!
AJ:)

I've been a busy bee..........

I know that I haven't posted in a while....I've been busy! (I know...like always) Ok....deep breath....I don't even know where to start. Ok, what's been happening lately...Munchkin (my youngest one) had a staph infection on her tush on Nov. 9. It was a boil and it popped by itself (it was awful!!!). I (IT was out of town on a hunting trip) took her to the ER and they gave her an antibiotic. The culture came back and showed that it would work. She went for her 1 wk check up and everything appeared fine. Then, on Fri night, it came back. It oozed a little, but didn't pop. We (IT's back) took her back to the ER and they had to put her under and lance it. She was in my arms when they put her out. It broke my arms bc she wouldn't let go of my neck, even though she was completely out of it! The doctor had to pry her arm from around my neck! I refused to leave the room and the doctor agreed to let me stay. I was fine until she started moaning like they were hurting her...I knew that she wasn't really feeling it, but I couldn't take the thought of my baby laying there hurting. I fainted! Literally....yes, I know......go ahead and laugh! Get it all out of your system! I hit the concrete floor really hard! The doctor actually tried to get me to go next door to the adult ER and get checked bc he thought I probably had a concussion. I refused....I told them I wasn't leaving her bc I wanted to be there when she woke up. I probably should have gone, but they can't do anything for a concussion anyway....just tell you to come back if you start throwing up or being dizzy.... So far, I've only been nauseous....not actually thrown up. And...really sore....my whole body is bruised! But, I feel worse for Munchkin! She went back to the doc on Mon and they took her wick out (a long piece of gauze string that was packed in it....about 4-5 inches....it was really deep!! Now, she has a hole in her tush! Literally, a hole! We are hoping that it doesn't come back. They dont' know what they will do if it comes back! She is so tiny! She is a little over 3 ft tall and weighs about 33 lbs. She doesn't just have a staph infection.....she has a Methicillin-Resistant Staph Infection (better known as MRSA)! She had an antibiotic in her IV at the hospital, she is on an oral antibiotic, she has an antibiotic cream to go in her nostils, and a body spray to use once a week for 4 weeks to help prevent her from getting the infection back again! I'm praying that it works!

Ok, to back up a little..... A few weeks ago, I found out that I was losing my job. They gave me one weeks notice that they were shutting the company down. Then, I found out that it was just changing management.....I was still out of a job! It took me a couple of weeks to find a job. I'm still not making what I need to. I need to make a minimum of $325.00 a week to pay my bills....and that doesn't leave anything for any extras...even gas. That only includes the bare minimum...rent, lights, water......you get the point. Oh, by the way, my momma moved in last month. She is paying $550.00 a month....the bills are about $2,000.00.....maybe a little more since she's here using water and electricity. He's still not looking for a job....he just sits around and tells me how much he needs money for tires on his damn truck....money to fix his thunderbird.....which has been at his momma's for months....money for cigarettes.....he wants me to give his damn daddy $3-4.00 or $5.00 every other flippin day so that he can have gas to go to his momma's (ITs mawmaw)......I am working as a waitress at a buffet place. I haven't gotten a regular schedule yet. We have a ton of bills to pay and are behind from when I was laid off and he takes some out of my tips every day.....today he is gone with his damn daddy riding around looking for junk to sell or yards to clean up on construction sites....which translates to he is riding around wasting gas with his daddy....and probably taking his daddy to his mawmaws bc I won't give his daddy gas money to get there.

I have more to say...but I will save it for next time. I have a ton of things to do....1st and foremost, I have to give Munchkin a bath....she can't sit in the water. Then, I have to finish a paper that was supposed to have been turned in by midnight last night....oops! Then, I have to cram for a quiz in my other class.....it opens today and will stay open until tomorrow at midnight....it's all online, so I have to take it whenever I have time. The problem is that I haven't studied at all....literally, I haven't even read my notes, much less opened my book! I will be sooo glad when this semester is over!!!

More later....I would like to say that I will start posting more regularly but....we all know that probably won't happen! We'll see.

AJ:)

Life sucks!

I know that I haven't posted in a while. I've been extremely busy!!! I work 42.5 hrs a week at a wrecker service in the office. I take online classes and have had tests. I had the flu for a week and am still getting over it. I am looking for a 2nd job and......(deep breath)...IT still has'nt found a job....oh wait, I forgot....you actually have to look for a job to find one.

He sits at home, sleeps late a lot, stays up all night, watches tv (usually the hunting channel), straightens the living room and kitchen sometimes (mainly when he's sucking up or someone's coming over), and then he wants a cardboard cookie....Oh yeah, he somehow finds time in his busy schedule to spend money that we don't have so that we will have even less left for bills.

He doesn't understand why I'm so ticked! He says that it's not his fault that he can't find a job....if I find him a job that he qualifies for, he will apply for it.....I say that I shouldn't be the one looking for him a job. He shouldn't have quit his job knowing that he didn't have another one lined up. We have NO money!!

If I work every hour that I'm scheduled (which almost never happens...there's always something..me sick, kids sick, you get the point....), I only make $1,000.00 a month. Our rent by itself is $900.00. He could care less. Our total household bills are over $2,000.00 a month! We can't buy our kids Halloween costumes, we have no money for Christmas, and we have no money for the birthday parties coming up in Jan, Feb, and Mar. He said that the reason he wouldn't go back to his old job is that he didn't want to work nights and weekends, but it's ok for me to work full time M-F daytime and get a 2nd job working nights and weekends....How does that make sense? There's more, but I'm getting pissed just writing this! I'm way beyond "ticked".

I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel broken. I feel defeated. I feel lost. Oh yeah....btw, my momma is moving in this weekend. Not bc I love her so much and want to spend more time with her...(which I do...), but bc we need the extra income. So, wer'e going form a 4 bedroom where our kids finally have their own space...to our girls sharing a room....again. Yet another promise to them that has been broken. Even with the rent that she will be paying....we are still a minimum of $500.00 short a month. The best part is that he says that everything is my fault...EVERYTHING. He doesn't take fault for anything wrong in our marriage.money, sex, fussing....nada.

I will try to post more regularly, but.........we'll see.

P.S. I have decided to try Weight Watchers again starting November 1. When I am finlly alone, I dont' want to look and feel like a fat cow. And, I dont' want to get out of breath playing football with my son or cheering with my daughters. I owe it to them... Plus, who am I kidding? I want to be the MILF when they're older....LOL (it's either laugh or cry).

AJ

Ok...To Be Honest........

OK.....here goes. I started following weight watchers (loosely) last Friday, September 21, 2007. I am ashamed to say that my starting weight was 196 lbs. I am only 5 foot 2 1/2 inches tall. I pledge to do some kind of physical activity every day. I have a treadmill, but I probably won't get on it every day. I have had it since May or June and have never got on it. I swear to stick to it and not binge. It is so easy to give in and have choc chip cookies or some other kind of sweets when I have a bad day or IT (I haven't come up with an appropriate nickname yet) ticks me off or whatever.....you get the point. BUT...I have to keep telling myself that 5 seconds on the lips = 5 yrs on the hips. Being pregnant 10 times in 4 yrs does a number on your body!

OK...a little history.....I met IT right before I turned 14.....We've been together ever since. We got married a couple of months before I turned 17. We have had a REALLY BAD marriage. There were a few good times (very few) in the beginning. It's hard to be able to support 3 kids on your own, so we are still together. I had 7 miscarriages....I was told that I shouldn't have been able to have my first two and would never be able to have another one....well, they were wrong. Our youngest one is tiny...she's 4 1/2 yrs and she only weighs 31 1/2 lbs. and is 38 in. tall. The other two have no major issues.

Also, my husband's great grandmother died yesterday morning. We had to sit the kids down and tell them last night. It wasn't the easiest thing to do, but it wasn't difficult either.

Well, enough rambling....I have to go check for my grade in my US History class. I am taking American Government and US History. I took my first major test in each class...I got my grade in my Government class....76.25.........not good....it was 80 questions in 90 min. I am still waiting on my grade in my History class. I am very anxious.

Ok, I have to go now. I have to get ready to go to the funeral home for the viewing. The funeral is tomorrow at 2:00. I will try to post tomorrow.

My First Post

My name is AJ. I am 26 years old and have 3 wonderful children. You will find that my life revolves around them. I work a full time job and am looking for a 2nd part time job. I also take online classes...if I ever graduate, I will be an Elementary School Teacher. I also take care of the kids, cook, clean, do laundry...you get the point. My kids are 8,6, and 4. My middle one is the only boy. They each think that they are grown! My girls do cheerleading and my son plays football. My husband doesn't work at all. He's been out of work for about a month. Long story....He hasn't been able to find a job all this time.......I told him I was going to ask my momma to move in to help with bills and he is applying for a job as I type this....Imagine that. I am also trying to lose weight. I gained a lot of weight during my pregnancies and have had a hard time losing weight. I'm not huge (at least that's what people keep telling me), but I am way bigger than I want to be. Well, enough rambling for right now....I will post again really soon!